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It’s always easier to be the facilitator than to really take care of yourself, right?

That’s why, a few months ago, my spiritual guide led me to work on my emotional body; I chose to explore the bodies that surround us in a Systemic Lab.

The exploration process was interesting: We went from the abstract—learning and getting to know our emotional bodies—to something concrete.

Near the end of the lab, I decided to jump into the water and work on my emotional body.

I set up representatives for I/me and for my emotional body, and the participants positioned themselves on them.

A great deal of pain came up in both representations.

My emotional body went into its shell, and I/me wanted to disconnect so as not to cry.

I then set up a representative for the event that disconnected the emotional body from I/me, and I placed it on my emotional body.

It felt right, yet the pain was still immense. I/me didn't want to look at all.

And then I tried something.

In the processes I’ve been going through lately, I’ve been looking more and more deeply into the kibbutz children’s houses, where we spent most of our time away from our parents and siblings. We saw our parents in the afternoons for a few hours, but returned to the children’s house in the evening, where we slept communally with our peer group I was thrown in when I was 14 months old.

And so, I added a felt for the children’s house.

Although it was a similar color to my emotional body, my emotional body told me it was much earlier than that.

What could be more ancient than the children’s house?

From the way the representative spoke, it felt much older than me. I set up a representative for an earlier event than now.

My emotional body collapsed.

It said, “Why did you leave me?” and the representative of I/me walked away, angry at me for even looking into the issue.

“That’s Matthew, Dad’s brother,” my intuition spoke, and then I added a representative for Matthew.

I didn’t tell my emotional body who Matthew was. I just said the name.

My emotional body calmed down.

Then I noticed that the color of the event that separated my emotional body from I/me was identical to the color of Matthew.

To help you understand, Matthew and my father are identical twins. Matthew died at 18 months old from a febrile illness.

From this point on, the story became easier: I set up a representative for my father and realized that for years, my emotional body wasn’t mine at all; it was my father’s.

And although my father is very comfortable with me containing his emotional body for him, it wasn’t at all comfortable for me.

I instructed the representative of I/me to take a representative for my emotional body instead of my father’s, and here we ended the session.

I came to the Systemic Lab to explore my emotional body because I thought it would be connected to my traumas, to my connection to other energy bodies, and instead, I discovered that I had become entangled here too; that in this respect as well, I had taken my father on myself.

Although this is about investigating and not about treatment for myself, I already feel a movement inside me and a deeper understanding of who I am and what has influenced my life.


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