How her relationship with her dad affected her.

Rivi (a pseudonym) is 54 years old, and she has never had a significant intimate relationship.

She’s dated men here and there, but nothing ever developed into anything serious.

She comes to me for a session.

After an hour into the session, we set up her father in the field.

Rivi looks at his representation, and her eyes fill with tears.

“What’s the matter?” I ask.

“My father passed away six months ago. I miss him,” she tells me.

We pause the session.

I ask her if she’s ever done any work on relationships, since starting to work on the issue of committed relationships at the age of 54 is relatively late, and she answers that she hasn’t.

She began seeing a relationship coach about two months ago, and now she has come to me for a constellation.

She’d never worked on her relationships before that.

“Look how, with your father’s death, the path has opened up for you to want a relationship truly,” I tell her.

For Rivi, it wasn’t a relationship filled with trauma and anger, but rather a deep bond between the oldest daughter and her father that had prevented her from developing other relationships.

Such a bond is psychological, emotional, deep, and subconscious, and it dictates our lives and our reality, thereby blinding us.

We can look at Rivi as someone whose eyes had been covered with a veil, and she hadn’t been able to see.

With her father’s death, the veil was lifted from her eyes, and now, she could see clearly.

Often, it is death, of all things, the departure of our loved ones from our lives, that frees us from the bonds that tied us, and that opens up new opportunities for us.