Career self-fulfillment and depression

We meet for a Constellation session. The themes that arise are career self-fulfillment and depression.

I ask her to bring representations for self-fulfillment, depression, and her workplace.

Her representation and the representation of fulfillment look at one another but cannot come closer. Something separates them. Fulfillment wants to come closer to her. She doesn’t want fulfillment to approach. It creates a sensation of nausea.

We begin to work with the field, to see and feel what’s there.

Very little information arises, mostly physical sensations. One of them is the throat—something wants to be expressed but cannot.

It feels karmic to me.

I ask her to bring a representation for the Akashic Records and ask:In how many lifetimes did she die while expressing herself?

The Records say: six lifetimes.

We bring representations of those lifetimes into the field.She places them around the representation of depression.

She stands on the depression representation. It feels good, like home. That’s its place.

She then stands on fulfillment and feels a need to turn toward the lifetimes.

She stands on the lifetimes.

She sees, in her mind’s eye, four women. Each one looks different, from a different era, experiencing something different. Two of them she sees clearly—one escaped slavery, and one was burned at the stake.

She brings a representation for each of these women.

I invite her to step into her own representation.

She does so, and suddenly her mother’s voice rises within her—scolding her that she must excel at everything; that she must be good and not stand out.

We bring in a representation for her mother.

Her mother comes from a different culture, a different land.

We do a healing process between her and her mother.

The phrase “I’m not enough” comes up. I ask her to bring a representation for that phrase.

As soon as she does, she remembers her father and a specific event involving both of them—she was six years old.

I ask her to bring a representation of the little girl she was.

We do healing work between her and the child she used to be.

Her representation moves toward fulfillment and looks at the four past lifetimes. She sees their courage to express themselves despite social prohibition.“Now I understand where this comes from,” she says with relief.

We release the entanglement between the current lifetime and the past lifetimes.

She moves beyond the field—beyond where the representations of the lifetimes, the parents, and the inner child remain—and toward the future. And she takes fulfillment with her.

Now they stand side by side.

It feels friendly.

Almost always, what we want to work on contains this and that and that: past lives intertwined with intergenerational transmission, meeting the inner child with what she did or didn’t receive from her parents.

Most sessions bring only one aspect (past lives, family, or inner child), but sometimes there are moments when all three are needed for full healing.