A story about a father, his son, and 72 joint incarnations

Poro and I meet in a representative constellation on Zoom.

“What is the subject you want to work on?” I ask Poro.

“My son and I,” he answers me immediately, “he’s 11 years old and we don’t get along. I’m a very calm person, but with him all my calmness evaporates. I find myself losing my temper, even hitting him, and these things aren’t me. I feel small with him and he constantly provokes me.”

In my mind’s eye, I already see death from the family constellation world, and it’s pretty clear to me that this session is going to the world of family.

I ask him if it matters to him whether we do a family or karmic constellation, he answers that he doesn’t mind, and we begin.

I ask Poro to set up a representation for himself and another for his son.

He places them in the field and asks people to come up and represent him and his son.

His representation says that he has no connection with his son’s representation, he doesn’t interest him, and he doesn’t want to be around him.

On the other hand, the son’s representation repeatedly says that the relationship between him and his father is a soul connection, and that he really sees the connection between them.

I understand that a family constellation won’t be here happening today and that the direction is karmic, and I add the souls of them both in order to see their relationships on a deeper level.

I immediately see the connection, but it’s not a simple one: Poro’s representation feels sucked into the representation of his son’s soul, and the son’s soul feels to Poro like a consuming black hole.

The energy of a black hole is powerful and contains many things within it.

It’s not one incarnation, it’s more than that, and that’s why I add a representation for the karma the two of them share.

The representation for shared karma tells me, that they’ve reincarnated together 72 times, and in 12 of these times, a situation occurred in which they fought each other.

And really, the whole field feels like a battlefield: The son’s soul has a desire to fight and take revenge, and words like “honor” and “revenge” come up in the field.

Then a story about a king arises = a previous incarnation of Poro,

and about the head of a tribe = a previous incarnation of his son.

The king conquered the tribe and the head of the tribe vowed to take revenge, and like in a family, there is also a hierarchy here: As soon as the king conquered the tribe. he became the head of the tribe, and the head of the tribe became his subject.

I ask Poro’s representation to look at his son’s representation and to say to him, “I am your father and you are my son.”

He can’t, so I change the sentence: “In another incarnation, I was a king and you were my subject. I am no longer a king and you are not my subject.”

Poro’s representation says this and shares with me that he suddenly understands it, that it’s new information for him, and that he needs a moment to adjust to the fact that he’s no longer that incarnation.

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This isn’t the first time I’m doing a constellation in which the children are discovered to have been children who were in battle against their parents in a previous incarnation.

For example, in another session I did, we found that the daughter in this incarnation actually murdered the mother, my client, in a previous incarnation, and this explained to the mother why she was afraid of her 10-year-old daughter.

We are not born tabula rasa—a clean slate—and although the aim of the soul is to start over in every incarnation, it still carries with it the memories and experiences of its previous incarnations.

If in previous incarnations my relationship with my father was difficult, then we can assume that it’ll repeat itself and come back time and again in different forms.

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Here too, in the story of Poro and his son, the hierarchy had been preserved:

The King is the father, the subject is the son.

But there is no battlefield and no two opposing camps, and this is new learning for both souls.

I don’t know why they chose their lives like that. My feeling is that since they had 72 incarnations together, they come from the same soul group, they are soul family, but they became a little stuck in the battlefield loop, and through their parent-family relationship, they can now create change.

In addition, the session also showed us that in the soul history of Poro’s son, there are vows connected to this relationship and they can only be removed on the body level, not on the soul level.

Poro’s son is only 11 years old.

In my opinion, he’s too young to deal with the vows he made in previous incarnations, and he’s also not physically present at the session, only his representation is.

Although he is a minor and is still under the energy of his parents,

I don’t feel I have the right to touch his karma and dissolve the vows.

They are his and he has to consciously choose to dissolve them.

The exposure of the previous incarnations and of the deep, long, and painful relationship between Poro and his son are sufficient at this point.

At the end of the session, Poro shares that he has really experienced with his son all the feelings and sensations that arose: that they’re in competition, that they’re at war, that he’s afraid of the boy, and that he also wants to overcome him.

The session allows Poro to put all these memories aside and become the father he wants to be.

And regarding the vow—parenthood is a journey.

In a few more years, when the son is old enough to work on his karma, they’ll be able to return to the vows and dissolve them, if they so choose.

And in light of the long reincarnation journey that Poro and his son share, I’m curious to know how their life together will turn out, and how much karmic cleansing and breaking of old patterns their relationship will allow them.