I don’t whant to Yell and be Angry like my Mother

Updated: Dec 8, 2020

When Ravit was a child, she promised herself that she would be a different kind of mother than her own.

When she became a mother, she discovered that despite her promise to herself, she was yelling at her children exactly like her mother yelled wen she wad a child.

She hats herself when this occurred.

I believe that this may well have happened to you—that you promised yourselves that you wouldn’t be like your parents and lo and behold something happened and you behaved exactly – but exactly – like your parents.

The feeling, the self-rebuke and disappointment when we hear our parents’ words out of our own mouths can often fell like a betrayal.

We betrayed ourselves. We betrayed our dream of parenthood.

And so we are angry with ourselves.

Ravit wanted to change this. She really wanted to be a different mother to her children. Therefore, she came to me.

And Ravit’s story is the story of many parents. Maybe even your story.

Ravit’s story can be divided into two. One part was Ravit’s expectations from herself and the second part involved learning how to stop yelling at her children.

In this article, I would like to focus on Ravit’s and my work regarding the first part.

I believe in acceptance—acceptance and compassion.

When we accept ourselves with our faults, with our own parents’ lack of perfection, and with the fact that we’re not the parents we wanted to be, only then can we change.

The more we rebuke ourselves and feel guiltier about our behavior—the more likely we are to return again and again to the same mistakes. And find ourselves stuck in a parenthood we don’t like.

I invite you now to take the time to write down those parental expectations you don’t succeed in fulfilling: the parents you want to be in contrast to the parents that you are daily.

How did I work with Ravit so that she could be herself and not her mother?