My desires, the soul’s desires, and the gap between them - What I have learn in the Spiritual Exploration Lab

My desires, the soul’s desires, and the gap between them.

This was the title of The Spiritual Exploration Lab of May 2025.

The idea arose from things I observed in my clinic—but also from my personal frustration.

Ever since I entered the spiritual world, I’ve had an inner knowing that I can heal myself.I know I can grow organs, shrink tumors, and more.I know it’s part of my system.I hold an inner belief—and beyond that, an inner knowing—that this is possible and that I can do it.

But in the moment of truth, when I need to do processes on myself—I freeze.Fears arise, doubts arise, the routine pulls me in, and I fall into paralysis.

I did several processes and treatments on this—and nothing moved.

A few years ago, I went to a between-lives regression based on Dr. Michael Newton’s method. There, I was told that my soul placed a block on the topic of physical healing.It didn’t want to take that path, so it placed a barrier.

This explanation made sense to me, and for several months it quieted my desire for self-healing—until it resurfaced and grew again.

But how can there be a gap between the soul and me? I wondered—how is it that I want something and the soul does not? If the soul does not want it—why do I?

And this led to the inquiry I created.

Here’s what I discovered:

In another incarnation, I knew how to work with the body in such a way that I could heal illnesses and tumors, but I also knew how to create them—and I harmed people with my power.

The block my soul placed was meant to protect her. To prevent her from falling again into the arrogance and ego of that lifetime.

That incarnation holds a lot of sadness and anger.

The block still exists in this lifetime, but it has no energy. It’s like a glass wall you can see through.

This is my soul’s journey—to face what happened there.

I understand my soul’s journey. But I don’t fully feel it is my journey.

I support my soul by bringing the pains that were in the shadows into the light. This is a time of healing. That lifetime is asking for healing, not avoidance.

And I understand that the desire to heal myself comes from the inner knowledge that I can and know how. And it’s okay for me, right now, not to touch it and not to engage with it.

My soul has a process she herself needs to go through with what happened.