• Activating the Heart: What a Systemic Field Taught Me About Healing Deep Trauma

We are in a workshop of the Spiritual Exploration Lab. I divide my "heart" into four parts: the physiological heart, the emotional heart, the mental heart, and the energetic heart. I want to get to know these elements of my heart better. We are in a session of the Spiritual Exploration Lab.

For me, these four elements are enough, but the workshop participants want to explore more heart-related themes, and I allow space for it. We bring in additional representations: one for Divine Love and one for Reality. And, of course, there is also a representation for the "Self."

I place the six representations in the space. There is almost no connection between them. And Reality is placed upon the mental heart. I begin stepping onto the representations, and the relationship of each one with me unfolds.

The biological heart looks at me and tells me that I am Divine Love, once I agree to embody it. It is not something outside of me, and reality—no matter what happens in it—is irrelevant to the true essence of who I am.

The emotional heart looks at me and asks the "Self" to give space to emotions. It tells me that I don't need Divine Love; I just need to be me, authentic and real.

The mental heart also looks at me, and like the emotional heart, tells me that I don't need Divine Love—only to be my authentic self. It adds that reality is simply a way to awaken within me who I truly am.

The energetic heart tells me that it is the one connected to all that "Is," and this infinite presence feels to me like the Akashic Records, layers of DNA, and beyond. It also tells me that it is the one that needs to be activated.

The representation of Divine Love requests a balance between the masculine and feminine, sharing that it is, at its core, pure tenderness. From the representation of Reality, several voices arise: that it is both the driving force behind everything, yet it also contains evil, and it is completely indifferent to personal experience.

I introduce an additional representation into the field: "That which split us from Divine Love." I begin another round of stepping onto the representations:

The biological heart continues to look at me: "As long as you remember there is a heart and that you are breathing, you are okay." My emotional heart moves and steps onto the "Self" to support me.

The mental heart tells me it will give meaning to reality and to what separates us from Divine Love. I feel it like a small child, and as it says this, it steps onto the representation of the split. It feels like a young child interpreting reality, not necessarily for what it is, but according to the age and developmental stage they are in.

The energetic heart looks at this movement and says, "This is the entanglement." And indeed, I feel that childish voice, which is a part of me, clinging to the interpretation it wants to give to what separated us from Divine Love.

Divine Love observes it all and chooses not to intervene. It believes that eventually we will sort things out, so its intervention is unnecessary. The representation of Reality moves away from the field.

That which split us from Divine Love wants to move closer to Reality—meaning, away from the field—but my mental heart won't allow it. My representation looks at all the pieces and feels a longing for the mental heart to come closer to me.

The biological heart steps onto the "Self" beneath the emotional heart. Now, the "Self," the emotional heart, and the biological heart are standing together, waiting for the mental heart to join us. It feels like everyone is waiting for the mental aspect, which behaves like a stubborn little child refusing to let go of what caused the separation. In another interpretation outside the field, this feels exactly like the insistence on holding onto trauma.

The mental heart, responding to the fact that everyone is waiting for it, agrees to step down from the split, but is still not ready to connect with the rest. In response, the energetic heart remains in place, looking at the mental heart and telling it, "I am here to support you."

The representation of Divine Love thinks what is unfolding in the field is magnificent. It stays to continue observing. The representation of Reality now moves to another area of the field. It stands behind Divine Love, revealing its various layers to me. Reality, even the difficult parts of it, is a part of Divine Love—we only need to agree to see it.

The representation of what separated me from Divine Love moves to stand on the mental heart, as if saying, "The mental heart is mine, and I am not giving it up." These movements in the field are fascinating; they tell a story about me, about my vulnerability, and about my readiness to heal.

We finish this round, and seeing that we don't have much time left, I introduce one final representation into the field: "What can activate our heart."

Up until now, we have given space to the things that affect the heart; we even gave space to trauma, but we are actually gathering here to activate the heart's frequency. I felt it was time to bring this representation in.

I ask all participants to place one hand on the Activation representation and the other on the remaining representations to activate the frequency. It is a completely different experience. My entire body begins to vibrate. Even now, two days later, as I write this post and remember it, I am thrown right back into the experience, as if I am standing there right now.

The messages I receive from the field are: Love the heart exactly as it is. The physiological-biological heart. To pause for a moment and love it just as it is. I am love. I am joy. In my mind's eye, I see fireworks exploding over the mental representation.

I feel my entire lineage sending me love, and at the same time, I feel how difficult it is for me to receive the love they are sending. I stay with this difficulty and with the sensations of the mental layer for a little while, and at a certain moment, the mental heart decides to align with the rest of the heart's representations, positioning itself right between the emotional heart and the biological heart.

The energetic heart's message was also that I am love, and it too, along with the mental heart, went to stand with the other layers of the heart.

Finally, we activated that which created the separation. When my hand rested on the representations of Activation and the split, my entire body broke into goosebumps, and a cold shiver ran through me. It felt like something shifted within the emotions held inside it.

We concluded the Lab, and I was left with a floating sensation that lasted for over an hour. In fact, I had to step out of the clinic and hug a tree or two just to ground myself and come back. I don't know exactly what happened in that space, but the frequency of the activation reactivates itself every time I engage with it, and it is a powerful sensation.

And perhaps, just perhaps, when there are structures that are so deeply entrenched—trauma structures that have walked with me for years—it takes something incredibly powerful, yet infinitely gentle, to make those structures collapse.

What stubborn structures or old interpretations do you feel you are holding in your heart, and what helps you soften them? Let me know in the comments below