Two months ago, my divine guidance directed me to work on my emotional body. It got me thinking – I should have a lab just for that (it’s much easier to be the facilitator than to actually do the work myself).
We’ve met today, three women for a #constellation_lab session on the bodies that surround us.
Our research process was very interesting, as we progressed from the abstract (learning about and getting to know our emotional bodies) to the tangible.
As the workshop was coming to an end, I decided to walk my talk and work on my emotional body.
I placed representations for myself (yael) and for my emotional body.
Both representations experienced tremendous pain.
My emotional body closed in on itself and “Yael” wanted to disconnect so as not to cry.
So I placed a representation for “the event that disconnected the emotional body from myself”. Its place was on the emotional body. It felt right and yet the pain was still unbearable. "Yael" did not even want to look.
Then I tried something.
In the processes I have been going through recently, I am getting closer and closer to exploring and working on the issue of communal sleeping (with other children, away from my parents). A practice I was hurled into at the age of 14 months.
So I placed a representation for shared accommodation.
Although it was the same color as the emotional body (the emotional body was bubblegum pink and the shared accommodation was bright pink), but the emotional body said it was much older than that.
What could be older than then communal sleeping? I could tell by the way the representative spoke, that it felt older than me.
I placed a representation for "older than this". My emotional body collapsed and said: "Why did you leave me?" And the representative who represented me, moved away and was angry with me- the facilitator for exploring this issue.
"Matthew, Dad's brother" my intuition spoke.
So I placed a representation for Matthew. I did not tell my emotional body who Matthew was, I just gave the name.
My emotional body calmed down.
Then I noticed that the color of the event that disconnected the emotional body from myself and Matthew's color was the same.
And just so you have a better idea – Matthew and my father were identical twins. Matthew got sick and died at the age of 18 months.
From that point on it got easier – I placed a representation for my father and realized that for years my emotional body was not mine at all, it was my father’s.
Understandably, this arrangement was very convenient for my father; but unbearable for me.
I instructed the representative who represented me to place a representation for my emotional body instead of my father’s.
And with that, our session ended.
I used the lab to explore my emotional body. I thought it would be about my traumas; about my connections with other energy bodies, but instead, I found out that here too the elements are entangled.
That I took my father upon myself in this aspect as well.
We did not conclude the session, because it is an investigation and not therapy for me, and yet I feel some change within me and a deeper understanding of who I am and what elements had an impact on my life.